dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
the room spins SO much faster in panama
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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