Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Randomize