glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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