my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have tasted many bathrooms
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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