I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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