She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
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Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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