nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize