i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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