Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
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I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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