i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize