put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize