white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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