as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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