She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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