TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
