One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think my vagina is haunted
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.