The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
50% drunk capacity currently
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!