at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things