Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.