In the future we'll all be gay
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
