i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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