theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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