i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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