what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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