we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
