Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
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I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
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Use "feeling words"
Yay
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize