the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?