i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there