id be glad to
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
COCAINE IS GR8
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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