Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
