I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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