I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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