i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
