I wish my penis had an off switch
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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