I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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