thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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