Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
