it was like his penis was on wheels.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
