I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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