Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize