he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize