i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize