well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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