I feel like abortions should bother me more
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
