Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
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After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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