come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
worst night to have a conscience
either way he was missing a nipple.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
