Where is the hickey?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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