i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
