I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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