I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
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I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
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merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.