Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
His hands were made for my vagina.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.