Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
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Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.