I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
