I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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