no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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